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Why kids show aggressive behavior

on June 11, 2017

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Understand them rather than punishing them

Aarav is a 4 year old boy who has just started his primary school. One fine day, his mom got a complaint from teacher that Aarav hit another boy in his class. Mom's reaction (conventional parenting methods): When they came home, Mom screamed at Aarav because he had a history of hitting kids in pre-school too. "How many times do I have to tell you not to hit others? You don't listen, you are a very naught boy. You will get punishment for this, no cricket for next 2 days, and no TV or mobile. Now you will understand." Aarav's reaction : He will get further disappointed after hitting episode of school due to mom's anger. Plus, he won't be able to play his favourite sport for big 2 days. That's too much for him. OR Mom's reaction (Positive parenting method): When they came home, Mom gave food to Aarav. When he finished his food, Mom held him in her lap, and gently asked him to tell the whole story. Aarav told that he and his

Name my feelings

Recently I read an article about yelling and punishments. I got that article just on time, because I yelled at my daughter yesterday. I wasn't feeling well and she, as usual, made me run after her during lunch time. Yes, I did despite of the fact that I am on my journey of becoming a positive parent. I did wrong and apologized to her later. I learnt a very interesting point from that article - We should ask kids to try to name their feelings. Whenever there is a tantrum or misbehaviour, there is something else behind it. And kids don't know how to tell clearly what they are feeling because of their underdeveloped minds. There is a hidden need, and the most important need is love from us, "connection" as we call it. Whether they are hungry or tired or afraid or need love, they are going to cry or shout. I think we as adults also do the same. We rarely express in clear words what we are feeling. Our actions are the result of judgments stored in our sub-con

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Why kids show aggressive behavior

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