In my daughter's skating classes, I observe parents who, along with the coach, repeatedly ask kids to be faster on skates to win the race. My daughter has also fell into this trap. Though she started a month back, she too wants to be fast and win the race. I always remind her to focus on maintaining balance and lifting her legs, but she ends up watching other kids who win the race. I don't see that big smile on her face when she started learning skating. At one time she loved skating, but that happiness has transformed into stress of winning the race. I always ask myself “Will she ever learn the best of the techniques, when her focus is just on winning?” I guess No.
There‘s another boy who runs fast but I can clearly see he’s using the wrong technique. His mom and coach are after him to run fast if he wants to win the race. They aren't concerned whether he’s learning right or not.
Another little girl always looks back while racing. Though she's very fast and has good balance, but has the fear of losing. So she wants to keep an eye backwards on other kids. And in this process, she often loses her balance and fall down.
Do we ever ask ourselves these questions:
Were we happy in this race when we were kids?
And are we happy today being in this race? ……..
Yes, but only for few moments when we win. Because then we are again afraid for the next race, be it for studies or sports or job.
What is most important in life - Happiness or success?
Most of us believe that happiness comes from success. That's true. But the meaning of success is misinterpreted as winning over others. The real happiness comes from doing what we love to do. When we do something that we love, then we go beyond all boundaries that society have created, and we become unstoppable. And an unstoppable person’s work will always be the best because his focus is only on the work he’s doing, and he doesn't waste his time watching other people. That's when we feel the real happiness. And the indicators of success like fame, money, car, home will follow happiness.
I can say this by my own experience. I am a blogger because positive parenting has become the purpose of my life. And now I want to inspire all parents too. Every act that I do for my purpose gives me immense happiness.
We have great examples of people who focussed just on making themselves best, rather than on the competition. Sachin Tendulkar, Steve Jobs, Mother Teresa - did they ever care what others were doing? Still they are one of the most successful people.
Purpose of my blog
The purpose of writing this blog is to request all parents to be with their kids in their learning process. Please teach them to remain focussed on what they love doing, rather than looking at others. Let them be like a free bird, who flies without fear of judgment, thus making itself stronger and happier and successful. Teach them to be better in what they are doing.
I hope this message brings light into every parent-child life. All the best!!
-Deepti Malhotra Thakur
-Deepti Malhotra Thakur