For All the Daughters

I am a daughter, a woman, a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mom of my little daughter. And I am writing this blog with an intent to change our beliefs for daughters with regard to:

1. Birth of daughter - Most of the moms are still clinging to the belief that sons are going to take forward their family name, and are going to take care of them when they'll grow old. Ask from the core of your heart - which of the two questions holds importance for you as a mother? You don't grow up any of your kid keeping the family name in your mind. You love them because you are emotionally attached to them. So what is family name for you? And how does it matter in today's times? As far as I am concerned, my belief is that I had a different last name when I was unmarried, and now have a different surname as a daughter-in-law - so family name doesn't matter to me. I believe in raising a right person, no matter what the last name is. And I don't want to be dependent on any of my kids when I grow old. I want to live my life as I want to. So, I will keep trying to earn my own income even when I am old. I have that much courage.

2. Love - This is my belief that daughters are more caring and loving towards their parents as compared to sons, leaving exceptions. I know this because I have seen my attachment towards my parents, and my daughter's attachment towards me. She is more sensitive towards my feelings. So moms, give them as much love as you give to your sons. Daughters are more hungry for love, and give loads back to you. And that's what is most important in life - LOVE.

3. School and college - Go for self defense classes for your daughters. They need it very much at this time. From the very beginning of the school, teach them that they are no less than boys. I always give example of the great wrestler 'Geeta Phogat' to my daughter, who defeated boys in several fights. 

4. Work place - Give them the confidence that they are very much capable of getting a good workplace and a good salary. If your daughter wants to be an entrepreneur, be with her. Don't break her dreams with the age old beliefs that it is difficult to manage marriage and kids with your business. She is also a human being and has every right to live a life of her own choice.

5. Marriage - I still remember a blog post by a mom where she wrote that the biggest happiness for her is to see her daughter in wedding dress. I completely disagreed then, and today too I disagree. I strongly believe that I have not given birth to my daughter to make her wedding 'her life's purpose'. 

My daughter will live the life she wants to. And marriage will be entirely her decision. It's a request to all the moms to please stop listening to what the society has to say about your daughters. Let them live their life. Sometimes, marriage becomes the end of their dreams. People say that once kids get married, they are settled. I mean what kind of 'settled' are we, if what we are doing from morning till night, is just pleasing everyone in the house, and leaving us way behind? That's ridiculous.

I love what Sushmita Sen once said "I love my father. He once told someone - Please look at my daughter. Do you think I've raised her in a way that her only identity is to be someone's wife?'' I love what she did. She adopted 2 girls, and I am sure most of us have seen how happy she is with her daughters in a recent instagram post that she shared.

6. Children - Again, the decision should be hers. Because no matter how much we say that a kid is both parents' responsibility, but we all know that lately the responsibility comes entirely upon mom. Why? Because our husbands too were raised in this society where it is believed that kids' raising is a mom's responsibility.

Though we cannot control what's going to happen in their lives, still we should do what we can in this moment. Give them loads of confidence with positive parenting, and let them take decisions for themselves.

All the best to all the daughters!!

-Deepti Malhotra Thakur

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