Disappointed?? Who actually is??
5 years’ Ria wanted to take her favorite sunglasses to school. Mom told her that it’s not allowed in school. She started hitting her mom, and cried that mom doesn’t love her. Mom couldn't see Ria crying and said yes.
These, and similar incidents, happen with us every day. And what is wrong with these incidents? As soon as parents saw their kids being disappointed, they too get disappointed. I believe, we are the ones who get more disappointed seeing them like that, than actually they are.
Since I am a mother of a single child, I too did this many times before I finally realized I was going the wrong path.
I overheard my 4 year old telling her cousin that she just have to cry and say 'please' multiple times if she wants her parents to buy her something.
We want everything to be perfect for them. We don't want them to face any disappointment in life. But is this idea going to work as they grow up?
Definitely not. They are going to face disappointments every other day. We are just creating Utopia for them that life is full of good stories, and we are there to get them out of every disappointment.
When they'll grow up, rather than finding solutions to overcome the disappointments, our kids will learn to remain glued to disappointments, and will always expect someone else to come and get them out of those disappointments.
We want our kids to be strong. And guiding them how to handle disappointments is a part of that. Make them learn that we too are human, and we too face disappointments. But we gradually gather the strength to look beyond those disappointments, and move forward. Rather than being a shield to them for disappointments, be a support to them.
Let's be realistic, and make our kids realistic. Start early, no matter how old the child is.
Start teaching them problem solving once they turn 5. Let them take small decisions for themselves. They will learn to accept failures, and will learn to work again to succeed. Let them embrace their successes. When they will fail, they will learn to be self-motivated.
Let them be disappointed. At least we are there with them now, to help them find the solutions. So when they grow up and we no longer are with them, they will carry our guidance and their self-confidence to rise above every failure that comes in their way.
All the best to all the wonderful moms!! Keep inspiring each other.
Come with me on my journey of positive parenting............
-Deepti Malhotra Thakur
-Deepti Malhotra Thakur
More from me on positive parenting: