My name is Alice and I am just 4 years old. I have 2 best friends Andrea and Camilla. One day I was playing with Andrea in park, when Camilla came and said something to Andrea in her ears.
Both Andrea and Camilla said "we won't play with you, you are not our friend" to me. I cried. I ran towards my mom. Mom said "Shh!! Don't cry. It's not a big thing." I said "But mamma they are my best friends. Whom should I play with now?" Mom said "You can play alone on the swings."
I went away crying. Mom doesn't understand me. The I heard my mom saying "These kids are silly. They fight over so small things." I thought to myself "Is it a small thing that my best friends are not playing with me?". A lady sitting next to my mom said "Let her deal with it on her own. She will learn on her own how to deal with these small issues. Don't intervene otherwise she won't learn."
Moms!! I am sure it must have happened to your child sometime. And the same must have been your reaction too. It's a small thing and nothing needs to be done. They will learn once they grow up.
But my question as a mother is:
What will they learn if we don't teach them? Are we not making them vulnerable by letting them learn what everyone else is doing? Are we not letting them learn from other kids whose behaviour we don't approve of?
And then we complain about our kids not behaving PROPERLY. "Mamma, I am so small. Please teach me the right behaviour before scolding me to correct my behaviour" - I am sure every kid's heart says that.
Bullying is serious, no matter how trivial it appears to us.
This is a real story. And the said girl Camilla has developed a habit of doing this everyday.
What if this happens next in the story:
Andrea and her mom reach home. Mom lovingly held Andrea in her arms, and tells her "It's wrong to do such things with your friends. You should play with all of them. How would you have felt, if somebody else did that to you? Bad...right. So don't do something which you don't want others to do to you." Andrea understood and said sorry to Alice the next day.
Alice and her mom reach home. Mom lovingly held her in her arms and said "Sorry, I didn't listen to you today. I know you felt bad. Andrea didn't behave right. You can play with other friends if she repeats this again." Alice was happy because her mom understood her feelings.
These small conversations play a big role in children's development. Imagine the difference in behaviour of both the kids after their mom talked to them. Become little in their little world, and empathise with them. When they will grow up, they will share their big matters with you.
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