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We are so much more than best friends

Positive parenting is as much related to ourselves as it is to our kids. It's such beautiful journey where we learn how to be present with our kids, offer them guidance with love, how to handle our emotions.

We are ready to leave our old beliefs and slowly adapt new ones. And in the process, our kids watch us and imitate us. As we progress in our journey, we find that there comes so much understanding between us as is there between best friends. Hope that you reach that stage soon.

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Change starts with me

When we give lecture to our kids, usually they are looking somewhere else. Also, they don't have fully developed minds to grasp what is being explained to them.

It's easy for them to watch and imitate us. Just pause for a minute and think, how much similar we are to our parents.

 If we want our children to be a better person, then first we have to become a better person. Rest will be done by kids themselves.

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Distraction free life

Each day, let's give at least 10 minutes of our undivided attention to our kids. Let's leave our phone, laptop, television aside.  Let's play with them or talk or tell them our childhood stories or listen to their story. Anything new that we can think of.  Let's try to see the magic in simple acts.  After few days, all of us will find enormous changes in our and our kids' behavior.  Both kid and parent will understand each other and will feel a very strong loving connection.

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Be a gentle parent

For all of us to become positive parents, the first step is to accept the fact that there is a better way to raise our kids than the way we were raised.  I am not saying our parents were wrong, they didn't know a better way. 
They just followed what their elders told them. They were doing their best. 
But today we have so much research in front of us that states that  raising kids through scolding and hitting is harmful for their self confidence.
So with this knowledge, let's pledge to slowly change our parenting methods to a gentle one. It takes time and that's absolutely okay.

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Dear Mom!! Take it easy

There are times when we are tired or ill, and the mind is working on auto mode. We get angry on small things. Happens with everyone. 
What I have learnt is that during these times, don't run after your kids for food or sleep. 
Take it easy. 
Because we usually end up scolding kids for not listening to us. It's okay.
Nothing will happen if they don't eat or sleep as per our wish. Take deep breaths or take a small nap. 
You will feel much better and your mind will be in better control of yours. Hope that helps.

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Encourage more and criticize less

Criticism never uplifts our children. Accept them the way they are and encourage and help them to be better.

Think about this - when we make a mistake, who do we want to reach for?  The one who criticizes us for making that mistake, leaving us more depressed. Or the one who is 'with us' in that mistake, acknowledges us as a brave person because we accepted our mistake, and works with us as to how we can fix that mistake to avoid it in future. 
The latter helps us to become a responsible and confident person. 
Become that person for your child. 
Encourage more and criticize less.

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Tools to stop hitting and yelling

It takes a lot of persistence to stop hitting and scolding. And regular reminders work as excellent tool to achieve this.
On my phone I have put hourly reminders to keep myself on track. We can use either of the statements as reminders (keep changing after few days because we get bored seeing the same sentence everyday):
1. Only love today
2. We are best friends
3. Be soft with ......
4. We will play without distraction
5. She/he needs connection.

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Connection with kids is the key

I completely agree and believe in building strong connection through play, open communication and respect.

I have been doing it on continuous basis. Please stop focusing entirely on studies, sports and every other thing. Just focus on connection firstly...

First 5 years of a child are so important.. These are the years to focus upon building a strong connection between parents and kid.

 This strong foundation then helps in building strong sense of confidence.

 And a confident child can do wonders... 

Start building connection.

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